Cho Chang is not a duck
by SageofZelda2000
Summary: Kind strange, Ron thinks Cho Chang looks like a duck, a little H/C is involved. Sequal, maybe? I dunno. Kinda weird, wasn't feeling to good when I wrote it, hehe
1. Default Chapter Title

Cho Chang isn't a Duck

> Well, it seemed like a normal day at Hogwarts, but it really wasn't.
> 
> "Hey, Harry!" Cho called out, blushing crazily.
> 
> "Oh, hello Cho."
> 
> "YOU LOOK LIKE A DUCK CHO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ron screamed it so loud the whole school must have heard it.
> 
> "Uh.... what?" Cho was shocked. A duck? She thought Ron was crazy.
> 
> "Ron, don't be wierd," Harry said as he whacked Ron square in the face, bringing an extreme sense of pleasure to him as well.
> 
> "Aww, thank you Harry," Cho gave him a kiss.
> 
> "Well..... it was sorta fun," he responded.
> 
> Ron got up with blood streaming down his face, kind of blending in with his bright red hair.
> 
> "She does look like a duck though."
> 
> Harry hit Ron in the face again, this time bringing an even bigger feeling of pleasure to him.
> 
> "Hello Harry," Hermoine had arrived.
> 
> "Hey Hermoine. Does Cho look like a duck?"
> 
> "No, why?"
> 
> "Oh, cause Ron sucks."
> 
> "That's an odd reason to ask me if Cho looks like a duck. Well, whatever floats your boat."
> 
> Harry looked at Hermoine as if she had jusked asked him to moon the entire school. No one seemed to be normal that day besides him or Cho.
> 
> "Can I have your attention here?" said Dumbledore,"Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts. We're very sad that VOLDEMORT killed Cedric last year," he said Voldemort as loud as he could, scaring everyone."We want to get VOLDEMORT and bring VOLDEMORT to Azkaban, where VOLDEMORT will spend the rest of VOLDEMORT's life in VOLDEMORT'S cell. Thank you. Wait a sec, did I just see a duck in here?"
> 
> "Ron, don't comment or I'll give you another whack."
> 
> "Okay. It was probably Cho."
> 
> WHACK!!!!! Harry hit Ron so hard he started spinning around as he fell to the ground.
> 
> "Thanks I needed that."
> 
> "Anytime."
> 
> Then Harry got an idea.
> 
> "Say, Ron, should I go do that to Malfoy?"
> 
> "Not unless he thinks Cho's a duck too."
> 
> WHACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> So whadda you think? Does it suck? Does it suck like a duck? To weird? To stupid? I'm asking a lot of questions aren't I? Aren't I? Who is? Me? You? I dont get it, do you? 
> 
> Should I stop there? Make a sequal? Tell me what you think? (Wait, was that a question?)


	2. Cho Chang is not a Duck II: Cho Chang is...

  
  
  
"I," Cho said," Am NOT a duck! So screw y'all! Um, I mean, Screw all you buggers, chaps! Why are we in bloody england anyway?"  
  
"Because," Dumbledore said "VOLDEMORT (crowd shudders) has chosen for VOLDEMORT (crowd shudders), that VOLDEMORT (crowd shudders) would like VOLDEMORT (crowd shudders (you know this getting quite boring for me (actualling, putting parenthses inside parentheses started with math (I'm sure you'd rather not hear anything about school right now though )))) to live. VOLDEMOOOOOOOOOOOORT! (crowd shudders)"  
  
"Um Mr. Dumbledore!", said Harry, trying to catch his breath from making out with the duck ---  
  
"I'M NOT A FREAKIN DUCK RETARD!" Cho Screamed  
  
"Are too!" Ron said "You're a duck that likes to ----"  
  
"RON!" Harry said and hit him over the head with a chair. "I didn't say you're a duck, the SageofZelda2000 just wrote it.   
  
"Harry!" Cho whispered, "DO YOU THINK THEY KNOW MY SECRET NOW!!!????" she yelled.  
  
"Right when you asked, no. Now? Yes."  
  
"VOLDEMORT!" Dumbledore said to get everyone's attention, "Everyone shut the VOLDEMORTING VOLDEMORT up!"  
  
"Such language! What the h*** does he think he's saying?"  
  
"VOLDEMORT YOU HARRY! Anyway, let's sing the hogwarts song. 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4 (Heavy Metal music starts playing)  
  
VOLDEMORRRRRRRRRRT!   
These scars they are from hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
VOLDEMORT, the secrets are from within!!!!!!!!  
VO-ho-ldemort *wooop* HE WILL DIIIIIIE!!!!!  
V is for VOLDEMORT!  
O is for Oh s--- it's Voldemort  
L is for Lick my d--- it's VOLDEMORT  
D is for da-- it's voldemort  
E is for EXTREME VOLDEMORT  
M is for Mother of VOLDERMORT  
O is for Opti-Free VOLDEMORT  
R is for that retard VOLDEMORT  
T is for Tangerines! IT"S VOL-DE_MOOOOOOOOOOOORT!!!  
VOLDEMORT WILL DIIIIIIIIIIIIIE  
THESE SCARS, THIS PAIN  
FOREVER WILL THEY BE  
VOLDEMORT!!!! HIS NAME MAKES ME FREAK!  
Cho Chang the duck, has a (radio edit) beak!!!  
Singing this makes me feel CORNY!  
VOLDEMORT, YOU MAKE, MEEEEEEE, HHHHHHHOOOOORRRRNNNYY!!!  
Voldemort!  
  
"Okay everyone. How was that? Why are you all on the floor? (everyone's knocked out on the floor) Ooooo! A duck!"  



	3. The Neverending Sequel


    Cho Chang is Not a Duck Part III: The neverending sequel
    "Cho! Oh Cho!" Ron cried.
    "What is it?" asked Cho, as she quickly hid the unicorn blood she was smoking. "I am SO F*CKIN' HIGH!!!!"
    "I wrote a poem about you Cho," Ron said to her.
    "Oh Ron that's so sweet. If you weren't gay I would bang you so hard!"
    "Damn you are high! I mean, here you go:
    What the f*ck?
    It's a duck.
    Goin' out with my best friend.
    I think her beak
    Makes Harry's lips tweak
    VOLDEMORT
    Cho, I think you're pretty slick
    At least you are for a chick
    If only you had a d- OH MY WORD what the hell is that!?"
    "What the hell is what?"
    "Someone wrote a bad word on my poem!"
    "Ron, what the hell are you talking about, you swear all the time!"
    "Do not!"
    "Ron your shirt says, 'I like to f*ckin' swear so eat shit jackass.' Your wand is named the megashit 2000, your report on frogs this year had the "F" word in it 16 times for no f*cking reason."
    "Ron go to hell!" Harry fell out of the sky and puched Ron in the face. "Dude that is so fun. Hey Cho let's go touch each other while you're still high."
    "Ok bye Ron!"
    "Hey can I come too?"
    "Ron that's sick."
    "You're right, don't know what came into me. You f*ckin' duck! DUCK DUCK DUCK DUCK DUCK DUCK DUCK!"
    "Ron," said Dumbledore, who was listening while tagging "VOLDEMORT" on various places of the school walls with wizard paint.
    "Wizard paint, what's that?"
    "Ron that was narraration, you weren't supposed to hear it. Even I couldn't hear it!."
    "If you couldn't hear it how do you know it's –"
    "Let it go Ron, it's in the past. What's important is that you relax about Cho being a," Dumbledore paused, "It's three o' clock, hang on Ron. VOLDEMORT VOLDEMORT VOLDEMORT VOLDEMORT VOLDEMORT VOLDEMORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, so anyway, you and I both know that Cho is a Voldemorting duck. What I have that you Voldemorting don't, is the acceptance of her being a duck. So shut the f*ck up."
    "Thanks, I apprecia-"
    "VOLDEMORT!!!!!!"
    "te it."
    "No problem. See you Voldemort! I mean later."
    * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
    "Ron! Ron!" said Harry. "I'm sorry I had to ditch you, but I had to make out with that duck."
    "Harry?"
    "What?"
    "You just called her a duck!"
    "What? No I didn't!"
    "Harry what the f*ck are you talking about your shirt says, 'I think Cho is a duck and I wanna punch Ron in the face!'"
    "May I?"
    "Go for it"
    WHACK!!!
    "VOLDEWHACK!!!!" said Dumbledore, using his wizard powers to Voldemorting mess up the narration. Voldemort!
    Ron stood up, "You workin' out?"
    "Hell yeah bi-otch!"
    "Anyway, you said the Cho was a duck. Three people believe this now. Is she truly a duck? You'll find out in the sequel!"
    "Ron you fag quit messing up the narration!" Harry Voldemorting screamed.
    So, Is Cho truly a duck? Find out in the sequel, it'll be such a surprise.
    Voldemort! Dumbledore owns!
    Shut up!
    You shut up!
    Go to hell
    Go to Voldemort
    Fag!
    Bastard!
    FagBastard!
    What the hell is that?
    Shut up, Sage owns!
    


End file.
